Demolition Day: Moving through the Unpredictability of Change
Hey loved ones!
Things are shattering, being banged up, and ripped to shreds. I hear the clinks of broken pieces hit the floor and feel the rumble of the walls. It’s demo day at my house and those sounds are the sounds of progress! The contractors have made it over to my home this morning and are busy tearing up my bathroom while I find focus amongst all the noise. When I sat down at my computer to write, it occurred to me that my shifting into peace amongst chaos came so naturally. I didn't reach for headphones or try to remove myself from the environment, I sat right down and started writing. I felt inspired. This is what came up for me…demolition aka destruction is a necessary process of being made over new. Can we talk about it?
Have you ever been so attached to an old version of yourself and the old vision that came with that version, that when something new showed up you immediately responded with resistance? Maybe even ran in the opposite direction? If you haven’t. I know I have! When the new version came with chainsaws and jackhammers, I became utterly intimidated. Why the hell was it standing at the door of my soul like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre was about to commence?
I was instantly like, “listen big dawg…ion want no smoke”. The chainsaw and jackhammer weren’t just for decoration.The pavement of paths taking me off course had to be broken. Attachments had to be severed. In this regard, destruction was a gift. Not one that I immediately recognized but eventually did. I came to recognize it as the preparatory phase of change. When I accepted that change was knocking and coming whether I liked it or not, I chose to surrender. This was an act of faith. In times of uncertainty, we are called to exercise faith. What better time to put your trust in action than in moments of uncertainty?
Faith does not operate in the knowns. It operates in the unknowns. It says, while I don’t have all the details on how this situation will unfold, yet and still I can trust that God got me. That destruction looked like it was going to destroy me, but even the things seemingly set up for my downfall, can be turned into a stepping stone that works in my favor. Destruction is a work of clearing space which is essential for laying new ground to build upon. I can appreciate that the gift of destruction rids me of barriers obstructing my growth.
Growth and change go hand in hand and while I value growth, I know it doesn’t happen on my time or overnight. Even when I initiate change for myself there are other factors outside of my control that require my acceptance opposed to my resistance. I know that I have the power to affect change yet and still I am only a piece of the puzzle. This allows me to acknowledge the room available to grant myself grace while I’m growing. Understanding this has helped me move through the process of change a little more mindfully. Change is something we have to lean into and learn to manage ourselves through. And as the saying goes, “it’s inevitable”. It can not be escaped or postponed to sync with our schedules. It just happens…it's the way of life. It's the way of motion. As my observation of change has matured, I’ve identified some steps that help me through it:
Acknowledge
Acknowledge change when you recognize it. Calling it out braces you and creates space for what Dr.Thema Bryant calls a "sacred pause". In this space you can do a self check-in. Then you can decide to respond rather than react.
Embrace
Embrace change as it comes. Any form of change whether perceived as “good” or “bad” can trigger a stress response because it inherently deals with the uncertainty associated with the new situation. As feelings arise about the change let them flow through without attaching a narrative to the feeling. Let your feelings be what they may. Embracing the change will set you on a path of peace.
Release
Release with faith. Release attachments to a specific outcome. Be present in the process of change while letting that which you can’t control, to unfold. Accept the mystery and lean into a sense of wonder. This presents an opportunity to expand your awareness of the infinite possibilities. There are no bounds on how God can work things out.
Though change elicits uncertainty, when we manage ourselves through it, it can be rewarding on the other side. It can be the very thing that helps us acknowledge our growth in the everchanging world we live in. Life is a momentous occasion. You get one big chance to build a collection of moments that mark your existence and experience. The more graciously you accept change the more fluidly your evolution will take shape. Putting these three steps into action have made a significant difference in the way I maneuver the unpredictability of change. I’ve been able to access peace in chaotic situations and find that still small voice within to guide me through. Give it a try! It may do the same for you. As always, it blesses me to share in my overflow! May you stay filled.